Kim: - In your own words, give me a synopsis of your book.
Patton: - My Faith So Far is an evangelical coming-of-age story. It's about awakening to faith and then yawning into doubt. The book touches upon many major themes of evangelicals' lives--from Christian music to Quiet Times to praise and worship to prayer groups and so on--and tries to be frank about the real attraction of evangelicalism, but also about the reasons so many become turned off by it. One of the major issues the book deals with is what you're supposed to do when you realize you're not at home in your culture. How do you negotiate a healthy, sustainable relationship with God, but also with the culture of evangelical Christianity?
Kim: - While going back through your memories in order to write your book, what incidences amazed you?
Patton: - Mostly, I was amazed at how eagerly and suddenly I embraced faith. I became a very zealous charismatic Christian virtually overnight. I went from getting stoned before class to dancing in the church aisles. The abruptness of my shift shocks me now. I'm glad for it, but still, it amazes me.
Kim: - I know that there is no "12 Easy Steps to Proper Worship". But what role do you hope your book plays in people's search for what is right for them?
Patton: - I hope the book helps people be easy on themselves if they're uncomfortable (whether guilt-ridden or embarrassed) about the worship experiences they've had in the past, especially if they feel they've fabricated something. Patience is a virtue, even patience with ourselves as we navigate these often-confusing waters. And for those who worry because they never quite "feel" anything in worship--you're in good company.
Kim: - In the book, you spoke of how Christian music "taught" you how to worship and how to pray. With the growing popularity of Christian music, do you feel like today's young Christians (not necessarily young age-wise) run a high risk of falling into the same trap?
Patton: - It's not that I think everything I learned about the Christian life from CCM was bad for me theologically or in terms of Christian practice. Not at all. But every CCM song is theological, implicitly if not explicitly, and when that theology is super sentimental, more like the Oprah Winfrey show than the book of Romans, then yes, I think listening to it involves risk. CCM was bad for me insofar as it was consumer Christianity: a purchasable Christian feeling that involved no challenge, no transformation, but just good (and fleeting) God feelings. I read a great article in GQ (of all places) recently that says that Christian rock has to be both obvious and palatable. I think that's exactly the problem, and it's a problem not just because "obvious and palatable" are things that rock simply is not, but because they are things that Christianity simply is not.
Kim: - Considering how lost you became on your spiritual journey, eventually turning away from organized religion, how did you end up being a doctoral candidate in religion?
Patton: - I never quite turned away. I've been baffled by my faith, but I've never rejected it. I go to church, and I'm still a Christian believer, if not quite in the way I was before. And because of my past and my interests in American literature and film, it was natural for me to study the intersections of religion, media, and culture.
Kim: - Do you see yourself preaching in the future?
Patton: - No. But I didn't expect to write a memoir in my twenties, either.
Kim: - Since you are in religious studies now, have you found answers to the questions you had about the Canaanite woman? What about the time the disciples told Jesus that his mother and brothers wanted to speak to him?
Patton: - The hard sayings of Jesus are still troubling for me, as I think they should be. Jesus is a surprising figure, not least because he can be so unsettling. Every time I come across those passages, I cringe, and I have to consider the context: who was he speaking to, in what moment, for what reason. The problem I was trying to highlight in the book is that my Christian culture hadn't given me a way to think about THAT Jesus, so when I found him in the gospels, I wanted to reject him. That was scary.
Kim: - Last question - how has writing this book changed you?
Patton: - It has helped me overcome my cynicism. It's helped me get over myself. It was like journaling really hard for a year, and it gave me a chance to see my past for what it was, reject what I needed to reject, re-embrace what I needed to embrace, and move on.
