Heartburn, bleeding ulcers, tension headaches, insomnia ... if you don't suffer from at least one, you know someone who does. The everyday man has all four because the weight of the world seems to ride on his shoulders from the moment he opens his eyes in the morning until he finally closes them for restless hours of sleep at night. He is expected to be all things to all people ... the team guy or leader at work, the master of his household, the father to his children, the support team for his wife, the dutiful and loving son, the good and helpful neighbor. He can't give anyone their answers because he can't even find his own. He feels pulled in a million directions ... how does he deal with it?
This was the topic of conversation with Bobby Bishop today and while he, like the rest of us, has tried numerous remedies, he has only found one that works (and that is only when he remembers to use it.)
When I mentioned the word stress, Bobby said, "Stress? I know stress. I have chronic neck pain, and have had so for years. It started in my mid-twenties, as I would periodically awaken unable to twist my head to see over my shoulder. It evolved into a daily thorn. I have a Sleep-Number bed, a Posturepedic pillow, and I visit the chiropractor weekly. At my annual physical, my primary care physician continually diagnoses me with stress. His medical opinion is that I “carry” my stress in my neck, and need to learn to take the time each day to relax."
Relax? How Do You Do That?
Relax? I have heard the term but don't think I've tried it out in about, oh I don't know ... 22 years (the age of my oldest child as luck would have it).Bobby had quite similar thoughts. He said, "Relax, you say? Sounds heavenly. As much as I would thoroughly enjoy the opportunity to participate in this “relaxation” you speak of, my lifestyle is just, well, incongruent with relaxation. Like everyone else, this economy is my enemy. I sunk all of my assets into my home and then some. Granted, it has some charm to it once you enter the front door, with 12-foot ornate ceilings and original crown molding from the nineteenth century. On the outside, however, my home is far from “ornate.” Bare windowsills and peeling paint make for a rough exterior, which I intend to remedy as soon as I have five open weekends in a row without a concert event. So, I’ll get to the painting in 2025."
He continued, "My precious three-year-old daughter, Isabel Luz, is my first go-round as a daddy. Each morning, I genuinely look forward to seeing her bright shining face, anticipating another glorious day of exploration and wonder. Unfortunately, these mornings are rare as she typically pees her bed around 2 AM and convinces her mother and I to allow her to sleep with us until morning. The next three hours usually consist of kicks to my face and groin, nagging requests for me to retrieve select Disney Princess dolls from her bed, and complaints about excessive body temperature in the now three-person bed. She’s a handful. I would estimate she is in time-out ¾ of the weekend and I remove more stickers from her behavior chart than I deposit. She also makes a new noise reminiscent of The Predator, which was hilarious the first couple of times but now makes my hair stand up on end. Last weekend, her mother filled her kiddie pool with fifty gallons of water. By the time it was full, she had completely lost interest and had moved on to that evening’s activities. She was insistent that our city has a fireworks display each and every night. When I explained that July 4 was an annual event, she became irate and ultimately landed in time-out, yet again. While in time-out, she emptied her room of all inanimate objects, as they came sailing out her bedroom door one airborne toy at a time."
With a 22-year-old in the military, looking forward to next year when he "gets to go to the sandbox," a 20-year-old finding his footing as a man, an 18-year who has decided to hold off until spring to start college, is desperately looking for a job and constantly asks for parental handouts to the "Mikey gas fund,", a 14-year-old getting ready to start high school and a nine-year-old who lives to terrorize her sister, I still think I have Bobby beat in the "kid stress" department, but he definitely has me on the neighborhood - our next stop in "stress-land."
When Stress Lives Right In Your Neighborhood
"We planted our church nearly ten years ago, as an effort to provide to our neighborhood an unthreatening, fresh approach to the gospel," he explained. "What we knew ahead of time was that our city and area was notoriously a “dry” region for church plants. Add to the mix drugs, poverty, and overall apathy, and we have had our work cut out for us. Part of our philosophy has been to meet immediate needs in order to initiate conversations about God. Now, we can walk down the streets and greet those people most attempt to avoid. One of my church friends even let one of our homeless parishioners sleep in his garage for a season! We’re still standing and as active as ever, but man, does it require labor. My previous role as youth pastor is no longer, as I serve as a “layman” these days. I continue to mentor several of my youth from previous groups, but also serve as a transportation and middle school minister. This involves a full Sunday, as well as visitations throughout the week. My wife and I also have an open-door policy, as we often have neighborhood youth dropping in to the house unannounced."
